Pains From the Back Side

2002-07-29 - 2:15 p.m.

Note to self: get back in some sort of shape.

Throwing the football around for a little bit yesterday was enough to make me regret it today. The ol' shoulders and arm hurt like scorned lovers that I only use when it's convenient for me. I shouldn't be so selfish, I should treat the few muscles I have with more respect, show 'em more tlc.

I got the most useless piece of mail ever Saturday. I was denied opening a bank account recently, again. Chexsystems is the company that tattles on you if you've bounced a check in the past 5 years. They ratted me out, and now I'm blacklisted from major banks. When you get rejected, you can get a report from Chexsystems telling you 'what the dilly.' I got my report and it was void of useful information. Sure, it told me what my name was, where I lived three years ago, what my ssn is, but none of that will help me hook up with a bank. It did tell me that I have an unpaid balance with KeyBank, but it failed to mention how much, how to contact KeyBank, who to send a check to, or anything else that might benefit my quest for a simple savings account.

It has come to my attention over the past few years that there are very well organized institutions and businesses whose sole purpose is to fuck you, and not in the fun way. It's obvious that conscious effort has gone into making it easy as falling off a log to screw up, but nearly impossible to redeem yourself.

I'm stuck though. My options are few. I'm just one man and it would take exponentially more effort to fight the powers that be than to just get a tub of Vaseline and white knuckle my way through this ordeal.

I used to think dominatrixes (or however the hell you would spell the plural of that) wore leather and carried whips, but now I know my beatings come from ones who wear suits and carry briefcases.