And your point is?

2003-01-17 - 3:53 p.m.

Paypal can blow me.

I'm attempting to sign up for the Super-dee-dooper Gold Deluxe Turbo 3000XL membership to this diaryland shenanigans. I gave Paypal my credit info at the beginning of this week and it told me I have to wait for some magic number to appear on my credit card statement. Then, I can take that number, sign back into paypal, and hopefully be closer to my goal. It would seem to me that this process shouldn't be taking so long.

Then again, I've been faced with a lot of disappointing truths about online purchasing power. Mainly, I'm an instant gratification shopper. I like to begin using things I pay for at the time of payment. Seven day ground shipping after a business week for processing kinda takes the wind out of my impulse shopping sails.

Speaking of impulse shopping, I'm traveling to the low budget promised land of furniture stores tomorrow. IKEA stores make my nipples swell. If my wallet had nipples, those would swell too, since IKEA somehow beats the prices of frugal consumer havens like Target (though you can't buy tampons, golf clubs, and a pooper scooper at IKEA).

The best part of IKEA by far doesn't happen until I'm back home though. The ritual of building particle board home furnishings requires the proper tools. The tools to get the job done are generally included in the box, but the tool necessary to get the job done RIGHT has to be provided by you. Not hammer, nor screwdriver (Philips or flathead), neither Allen or monkey wrench. No, no, no. Men can build with poop and a rock. Men cannot build without beer.

That's right, IKEA means beer.

"But dug, doesn't everything mean beer to you?" you say.

And your point is?