Rolling, rolling, rolling

2003-02-20 - 3:53 p.m.

Remember when they first put wheels on luggage? What a great idea! Unfortunately, that lead to one of the most annoying things I see on these city streets, that being wheels on small bags.

Sitting, watching, letting the world revolve around my stationary position, people passing by. People passing by, dragging behind them tiny bags on tiny wheels with very long telescoping handles. Glorified lunchboxes, on wheels. People who spend $100 a month on their gym membership, dragging purses on wheels.

What next? Where will this moronic absurdity lead? Pulling your wallet behind you by string? Miniature red wagons for your keys? Perhaps, one day, coats will be considered too cumbersome to be worn and will be pulled behind on little wheels.

"Three pounds! That bag can't weight more than three pounds!" I say to one buff looking passer-by before I stuff it, telescopic handle, wheels, and all, up his ass and push him down the escalator.

Man, if life were more like my imagination, I'd be so much calmer.