Weather Redundant

2003-07-01 - 9:08 a.m.

Here, now, for your reading entertainment, is the weekly weather report, brought to you by the San Francisco Chronicle.

Monday: Coastal clouds and fog early; mostly sunny.

Tuesday: Mostly sunny with coastal morning fog.

Wednesday: Mostly sunny after areas of morning fog.

Thursday: Morning fog and clouds, then sunny.

First, they pay someone to do that!? I could do that. Friday: Coastal fog gives way to afternoon sun. Saturday: Sunny, mostly, after a morning of coastal fog. Sunday: Coastly foggy, mostly sunny.

Second, God bless the Bay Area. Weather is highly overrated. In upstate NY, it's fucking hot right now. Before that, it was fucking cold. In Florida, it's a tangible liquid heat that sticks to your skin as soon as you walk out a door. Here, it's mild fog and mild sun, with mild breezes and sometimes a mild chance of a mild rain. I like that, very much.

Third, what's the point of the word shuffle daily? Why don't they just put today's forecast with an arrow running through the rest of the week? Maybe they could just write "same as yesterday" for each day. Maybe I should appreciate the minimal effort they put into providing me with some variety in my climate predictions. Maybe I'd read the weather more often if they could figure out how to forecast something more impressive than fog in the "Fog City," like earthquakes, for example.