Free lunch

2002-03-13 - 1:01 p.m.

Remember your high school football team? Ours had these tee-shirts made with incredibly stupid phrases on the back. You know the type of testicular minded jock bullshit.

Anyway, the geniuses on our football team had this one shirt that said "No Free Lunch" on the back of theirs.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? From the looks of the tubby bastards we had playing for us, they had all the lunch they needed.

The point that I'm slowly dancing closer to is that there are, indeed, free lunches.

I just polished off a plate of veggie lasagna and didn't pay a dime for it.

So this is for the self-loathing coach who has a large print book of motivational three word sayings that he breaks out for making tee-shirts, posters, or speeches: Your boys would get all the free lunch they want if you encouraged them to milk the bloated teat of the system.

Hard work pays off, true. I'm not denying that. But, cunning, luck, and a job with fringe benefits like table scraps are worth their weight in gold.