Caveman News

2002-03-13 - 8:41 a.m.

Caveman Weather Report:

The sea that falls from the sky has stopped. Bright thing is back.

Caveman Stock Tips:

With the coming of warmer weather there will be a decline in the loincloth market. Thog's Spears is the hot ticket now as an insider has leaked to the public that the only other spear manufacturer within walking distance is going to die soon from a cranial bludgeoning.

Caveman Sports:

The Bears continue their winning streak this week leaving most of the village dead.

Caveman Entertainment:

Scrog will be dancing by the fire tonight. Mate while you can boys.

Caveman World News:

There is a pond on the other side of that ridge over there.

Caveman Horoscope:

Food is scarce, so avoid the cannibal at work.

Caveman Celebrity Birthdays:

Dick Clark turns 34 today.

Caveman Update:

This just in, fireball is falling from sky.

BOOM