Scatterbrain

2002-04-26 - 8:54 a.m.

I got me some sleep last night, which, thanks to a couple of nights of drinking, playing pool, watching the Yankees beat Oakland live twice, and other things I can't remember, I've been lacking for a while.

Since I have been lacking the sleep, and since I'm feeling a tad under the weather, and since I wanted to crash early and not wake for anything, I enlisted the help of my good friend, Benadryl. I have posted of the wonders of this drug before, so I won't blather on about it now. Suffice it to say that if Benadryl was a woman, she'd be tall and pretty with a phone sex voice (like if Kathleen Turner was still a woman). She'd kiss well and give massages like no other.

Tomorrow Mr. Bacon, not myself or my father, goes home. He's had a good visit from where I stand, and I hope he agrees. We haven't had anyone visit us here in San Freaky who didn't have a smashing stay, so far as I know. Maybe he'll reconsider moving to Rhode Island. What the hell is Rhode Island anyway? Asking the average person about Rhode Island is like asking someone to give a eulogy for someone they don't know.

I hope you can see my middle finger, Rhode Island, because I'm giving it to you as hard as I can.

I apologize if I offended the good people of Rhode Island, all 27 of you. I blame drugs, which seem to be the scapegoat of the year (don't even get me started on that horseshit campaign our government is blowing over $10 million on to convince you that 18 year old pot heads here are funding 18 year old suicide bombers on the opposite side of the planet, because, frankly, I'm sick enough as it is).

So that's my post for today kids. I'm sorry it read rather like a British comedy, I'm a tad scatterbrained right now.

Englebert Humperdink is dead.