Environmentally Insane

2002-08-07 - 12:10 p.m.

What the hell is going on?

I'm no tree hugger, but I can't believe the unprecedented levels of stupidity being displayed regarding our environment lately. There seems to have been a shift from the eco-passive "careless" to the destructo-active "retarded." For example:

1) Our government gives a near unanimous thumbs up to the brilliant idea of burying America's nuclear waste in a mountain in Nevada, a state that produces no nuclear waste. Costly? Yes. How's it getting there? By trucks on major highways. How's Nevada feel? Fuck Nevada.

2) A forest ranger is mad at her ex-husband and burns a letter from him, catching the forest on fire. Um, what!? Smokey the Bear has joined the NRA now and he's coming for you!

3) President Dickhead doesn't believe in global warming. I guess it wasn't in the Bible or something. "Oh, the Artic has melted? Call Frigidare!"

4) Snakehead fish are plotting to take over the world, or at least, Maryland. These demons intend on killing all the wildlife they come near. How do we stop them? Maryland is using two different pesticides in their waters now, one to kill all the plant life so the little bastards can't hide, then another one to kill all the animal life. So, to keep animals from killing animals, we're going to kill them all? Don't worry, Maryland's drinking water is reported to be back to normal in a couple of weeks. Weeks!

See what I mean? We're going to hell in a hand basket but we seem generally fine with it. As long as we're the only ones endangering our species, we still win apparently.

Now I have to go buy a radiation suit, extinguisher, sun block and bottled water. Ciao!